5 things that were dreadful about Dracula Untold

Run away and don’t look back… at this mess of a movie

When your film gets slammed by both The Hollywood Reporter and Variety, two media vehicles that quite literally exist to promote Hollywood films, you know you have a problem, Houston. Dracula Untold promised quite a bit with its decent trailer; unfortunately, the trailer was the only highlight of the whole endeavor. Enjoy these fleeting minutes then brace yourself for my 5 dreadful things after the break:

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Can a Visionary Have a Tin Ear for Dialogue?

James Cameronby HakSnider
Titanic, one of the the most successful films of all-time, was re-released in 3D earlier this month. The respectable box office receipts thus far are a testament to the enduring appeal of director James Cameron‘s passion project. A technical marvel that pushed the limits of special effects technology of its day, the film also catapulted star Leonardo DiCaprio into super-stardom and established Cameron as a filmmaker who could continue to create big budget blockbusters, while operating with relative autonomy. However, Titanic, like Cameron’s most recent film Avatar, succeeded despite a relatively clunky and cliche-ridden screenplay. Which begs the question, can we really consider a writer/director with a tin ear for dialogue a visionary filmmaker?
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Release the HACKen!

Liam in Wrath of the Titans

Liam Zeus has already released the Kraken

by HakSnider33
Did we really need a sequel to the 2010 clunker-of-a-remake Clash of the Titans?  Absolutely not, but Wrath of the Titans opens nationwide today.  Like the first movie, Wrath of the Titans stars the rapidly fading Sam Worthington and Liam Neeson, but this installment was directed by hack director Jonathan Liebesman, who directed the craptastic Battle Los Angeles, instead of hack director Louis Leterrier, who directed the only bad recent Marvel Studios film, The Incredible Hulk.

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The Hack’s Toolbox – Running From Explosions

Nicholas Cage

by HakSnider33
In our second installment of The Hack’s Toolbox, we will explore one of the most fundamental tools utilized by the hack filmmaker,  the obligatory scene featuring  people fleeing from an explosion in slow motion.  Everybody has seen this scene at least a thousand times, with about five hundred of the scenes featuring a juiced-up Nicholas Cage running in slow motion from an explosion in films directed by people like Michael Bay or Simon West.

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Mirror Mirror on the Wall, Who’s the Hackiest of Them All?

Tarsem

Tarsem

by HakSnider33
MIRROR MIRROR, the fourth feature film directed by acclaimed former music video director Tarsem Singh, will be released theatrically on March 30th.  The film, which is a retelling of the classic fable of Snow White, will star Julia Roberts, Armie Hammer (THE SOCIAL NETWORK) and Nathan Lane.

Despite a rather modest filmography (THE CELL, THE FALL, IMMORTALS), Tarsem has been labeled by many as a “visionary” filmmaker, so highly regarded that he is known on a first name basis by the film community. Is he deserving of such acclaim or does his spotty track record as a feature filmmaker contradict his considerable reputation?

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The Hack’s Toolbox – Recycled Cliches

Michael Bay's Epic Opus The Rock

by HakSnider33
Previously, we examined one of the tools used by visionary filmmakers such as Quentin Tarantino, Orson Wells, Park Chan-Wook and Martin Scorsese – the long take.  Today, we will look at one of the most prominent tools in the hack filmmaker toolbox – the recycled cliche.  A cliche is something that is trite or overused, and according to our definition of a hack filmmaker, one of the primary things that make a filmmaker a hack is the creation of dull, unimaginative, mediocre or banal work. Read More

George Lucas – Visionary or Hack?

Lucas arrested for crimes against Star WarsDirector George Lucas is one of the most famous filmmakers in the world due to the enormous success of his Star Wars series of films.  Starting with the original film, STAR WARS:  A NEW HOPE, Lucas has done much to change the game, when it comes to blockbuster films and the selling of licensed merchandise.  Even three decades after the original film, the marketplace for Star Wars collectibles should be considered an economy onto itself.  George Lucas the marketer and business is obviously one of the titans of industry.  However, what about George Lucas the film director?  Should we consider him to be a visionary filmmaker or is crass hack, only interested in the bottom line? Read More