5 things that were dreadful about Dracula Untold

Run away and don’t look back… at this mess of a movie

When your film gets slammed by both The Hollywood Reporter and Variety, two media vehicles that quite literally exist to promote Hollywood films, you know you have a problem, Houston. Dracula Untold promised quite a bit with its decent trailer; unfortunately, the trailer was the only highlight of the whole endeavor. Enjoy these fleeting minutes then brace yourself for my 5 dreadful things after the break:

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5 things I wasn’t tickled about in Tusk

Tusk movie poster
Well, that does it for me. Here at Visionary or Hack, I was the lone holdout for iconoclastic director Kevin Smith. I actually ranked him as Visionary, while Mr. Ridley and HakSnider33 both list him as Hack. Our highly scientific (hardly) ranking system requires a uninamimous vote, so Smith languished in the undecided area for a long time. That changes today. as Smith’s latest has made me seen the error of my ways. As far as I’m concerned now, based on this dreadful film, he’s a hack.

Don’t get me wrong, though, I still like the guy and think he’s tremendously funny. I remain interested in seeing what he does next. But following up the immensely entertaining Red State with the half-ass horror show that is Tusk is simply unforgivable.

Remember, hacks are often technically proficient, if not talented even, so don’t be surprised if you feel like seeing this dreck after viewing the trailer. Just don’t. Check out my 5 things after the jump:

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Prometheus… A Return to Form for Sir Ridley?

Ridley Scott

A king has his reign, and then he dies – it’s inevitable. ~ Prometheus

After months of teasing and taunting, Ridley Scott’s latest film, Prometheus, lands in theaters this week.  The legendary filmmaker has been directing features for over 30 years, but his recent output has been less than stellar. 

Is Prometheus a return to form for Sir Ridley?

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The Cabin in the Woods… out with the old (school), in with the new (genre mashup)?

Drew Goddard at the 2012 SXSW premiere of The Cabin in the Woods

By Late Night
First-time director Drew Goddard steps up to the plate in a big way with the sci-fi/government conspiracy/slasher horror/monster movie mashup, The Cabin in the Woods (opening April 13).  Goddard is the writer of the thoroughly entertaining sci-fi/monster movie Cloverfield (2008), but he is better known by his work for the small screen, as a writer/producer for Lost, Alias and Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

It is no accident that many visionary directors write their own material.  And it’s readily apparent from this short clip that Goddard can build interest and suspense with just a few words:

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“Actionary” presents just about all the action you can handle

Presented entirely for your cinematic enjoyment, the following is a masterfully-edited selection of the most fantastic action sequences of recent years, set to the wildly shifting time signatures of modern electronic music.   The full title on YouTube is Actionary 720p in Dubstep styles (fix), and it claims to only use footage from official movie trailers.  Consider it the uber-trailer for the entire genre of big-budget action films; it is not concerned with context, it is only about celebrating the moments of kinetic movie magic created by hacks and visionaries alike, perfectly matching the on-screen motions to the ebb and flow of the dubstep track (and on a related note, it is also a perfect example of why dubstep is taking over the world).

Prepare to fall in love with the movies again:

Wes Craven, visionary or hack? Some of us are not sure…

In the Lobby? Wes Craven

Okay, one of us is sure that Craven is a hack, but two of us have him in the lobby.   In perusing this brief retrospective of his career from Moviefone, I was reminded of Craven innovative approaches to advancing the art of boogey man movies.  He’s sort of the Michael Bay of the cheesy halloween blockbuster niche: he makes effective genre films that consistently draw big audiences and prove the studios investment in him to be sound. Read More