LIFE is bullshit

 

Life - Jake Gyllenhall

He’s only screaming because he paid full ticket price

I would file this one under the “Don’t waste your money” category if we had one here; instead I’ll just let this opening sentence be your first warning.  I won’t print any spoilers in this short recap, but I certainly intend to put this film on blast:  LIFE, the newest Jake Gyllenhaal starrer, simply isn’t worth living through.   It DID have a kickass trailer, though, so enjoy that one more time and then see the bad news after the jump.

 

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5 things I loved about Lucy

She doesn’t want what you think she wants

When I first saw the trailer for Lucy, I was like, “Damn, that’s hot.” And I’ll admit, I’m a sucker for anything Scarlett Johansson does, so that just might have something to do with my reaction. All I could tell was that she was somehow a drug mule done wrong and suddenly gets superhuman powers. What’s not to like? That it was directed by French filmmaker Luc Besson (ranked “In The Lobby” by the braintrust here at VOH) didn’t hurt, but didn’t really help much either. I’d probably go see Scar Jo directed by VOH-certified hack Michael Bay (in The Island), or directed by the man responsible for the crazily-disappointing Cowboys and Aliens, Jon Favreau (in Iron Man 2). ‘Cause it’s her. So I was down to see Lucy.

And I went to see it and was not that impressed. I think I was taken by surprise with what Besson, who also wrote the screenplay, was trying to say. I didn’t really get it. I thought I was in for a straightforward revenge flick, but once Lucy gets tuned in and turned on by all those synthetic drugs released in her system, suddenly revenge is the very last thing on her mind, if at all. So I had to go see it again, about a month or so later, at a second-run theater. And I finally got it.

Richard Corliss from Time called it “… the summer’s coolest, juiciest, smartest action movie.” Well, as usual, he was wrong, which is one of the many reasons I don’t read Time. Edge of Tomorrow was the summer’s coolest, juiciest, smartest action movie. But Lucy is damn cool, no doubt about it.

Don’t get it twisted. While it’s not a revenge flick, Lucy gets to kick a serious amount of butt; it’s just that her motivation is not what you’d expect. It comes from a surprisingly high place. Check out the trailer and my 5 things will follow after the jump.

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Prometheus… A Return to Form for Sir Ridley?

Ridley Scott

A king has his reign, and then he dies – it’s inevitable. ~ Prometheus

After months of teasing and taunting, Ridley Scott’s latest film, Prometheus, lands in theaters this week.  The legendary filmmaker has been directing features for over 30 years, but his recent output has been less than stellar. 

Is Prometheus a return to form for Sir Ridley?

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Superhero movie versus 3D game: which is more spectacular?

By Late Night
All of the spectacular action sequences we’ll enjoy this summer at the movies are made possible by the same computerized image manipulation that make the most popular videogames possible. Check out this mix of 3D game action versus feature film super hero action, served up by trailer-slicer supreme Crispafull (the “live action” stuff starts about halfway through, featuring clips from The Avengers, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter and many, many more):

Is it possible we may be witnessing the birth of a new artform?

The Cabin in the Woods… out with the old (school), in with the new (genre mashup)?

Drew Goddard at the 2012 SXSW premiere of The Cabin in the Woods

By Late Night
First-time director Drew Goddard steps up to the plate in a big way with the sci-fi/government conspiracy/slasher horror/monster movie mashup, The Cabin in the Woods (opening April 13).  Goddard is the writer of the thoroughly entertaining sci-fi/monster movie Cloverfield (2008), but he is better known by his work for the small screen, as a writer/producer for Lost, Alias and Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

It is no accident that many visionary directors write their own material.  And it’s readily apparent from this short clip that Goddard can build interest and suspense with just a few words:

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“Actionary” presents just about all the action you can handle

Presented entirely for your cinematic enjoyment, the following is a masterfully-edited selection of the most fantastic action sequences of recent years, set to the wildly shifting time signatures of modern electronic music.   The full title on YouTube is Actionary 720p in Dubstep styles (fix), and it claims to only use footage from official movie trailers.  Consider it the uber-trailer for the entire genre of big-budget action films; it is not concerned with context, it is only about celebrating the moments of kinetic movie magic created by hacks and visionaries alike, perfectly matching the on-screen motions to the ebb and flow of the dubstep track (and on a related note, it is also a perfect example of why dubstep is taking over the world).

Prepare to fall in love with the movies again: